Do you ever find yourself praying and then all of a sudden you are off thinking about some random thought?
This happens to me daily. Since I wake up to feed a baby a few times a night, I find myself lying awake thinking a lot. (Why I can't fall back asleep is beyond me considering how tired I always feel). I usually take the opportunity to pray....and sometimes I will still be laying there 30 minutes later praying. Not because I am an expert prayer warrior or that I feel I need to lift up every person I know, it's because I have prayer ADD.
This is what it sounds like, "Dear Lord, thank you for this day and the beautiful baby girl you have blessed me with, please help her to grow healthy and sleep through the night, I pray for...did I turn off the Christmas tree? Oh, I really need to finish shopping. I think I got a coupon in the mail today for Kohls. Maybe I will go look there. I guess that means I am waking up early to take Ollie to the train...or maybe I'll just go when he gets off work. Oh man, I was praying....sorry Lord. Please forgive me for not focusing on my prayer. I pray for the families affected in CT...."
And so this continues. Does this happen to you? I know God hears all our thoughts and cares about every aspect of my life, but I know he would rather my prayer be focused. So here is what I have decided to try to help my prayer ADD (this is my behavior plan for all my teacher friends....LOL):
1. I am going to try and pray out loud instead of in my head.
2. I am going to try and write my prayers down.
3. I am going to keep a notepad next to me, so when I have a random thought, I can write it down and get it out of the way before a tangent sets in.
Notice that I said TRY...I know I'm not perfect and will fail at this numerous times. Especially because I like to pray when I am up feeding the baby...and I can't really do the things above in the dark. Isn't it comforting to know that God loves us regardless of these imperfections. He doesn't care what my prayers sound like...he just cares that I pray.
Share some of your funny ADD prayers. Can you help my prayer ADD? What do you suggest I do? Or what do you do to stay focused during prayer?
I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to leave a comment below!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Anniversary Tribute
Last weekend Ollie and I celebrated 5 years of marriage! Now to some who have been married for way past 20 years or so, you may not see this as a big accomplishment, but I would say that in today's society 5 years is a big deal! It's crazy to think too that this April we will have been together for 10! If you have been together for many, many more years than me...tell me how you did it!! It's my prayer to make it 20, 30, even 50 years! (Considering we got married when I was 20, we have to live to 70).
Marriage is full of wonderful moments (and a lot of hard work!). It's full of laughter, tears, smiles, memories, sadness, joy and so much more. It's a journey...one that you don't take alone, through both the good and bad. We have done a lot since we got married back in 2007...we graduated college (that's right we got married IN college), got two lovely puppies, moved across the country to a much colder climate, started our careers, and then this year had a beautiful baby girl! Moving away from most of our friends and family in Florida, made our marriage stronger because we had to rely on each other completely. We had to be husband, wife, family, friend, shopping buddy -- everything to each other. Having a child solidified us even more. There is nothing like being a parent...she made us a family of three, she made our lives full of love and joy, and she made our marriage even more important to fight for.
I'm by no means a pro at marriage, but here is what I have learned over the past 5 years.
1. Put God at the center of your marriage...it's the only way it will work! "What the father has joined together let no man separate." Matthew 19:6
2. Believe in each other. Marriage isn't about giving up who you are (neither is parenting). I can't tell you how many times I felt like giving up on something and my husband was there rooting me on telling me that I could do it. I believe in following your dreams. I believe in my husbands dreams and he believes in mine.
3. Love unconditionally. At our wedding, our pastor Jamie Stilson said when God created Eve and brought her to Adam, Adam looked at her and said, "you're bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh." He went on to say that although this isn't very romantic, Adam was saying that he accepted her just as she was to complete him because it wasn't good for man to be alone. The bible says that we should love each other as Jesus loved the church. That marriage is not based on emotions or feelings but the commitment that you made to each other and before God. You build the foundation of your home on these promises not on the feelings you have....and God is there to help us.
4. Never go to bed angry, say sorry often, and forgive quickly. Many times the people you love the most get to see your worst side, that's when this piece of advice is most important.
5. Be a team. It's Ollie and I against the world. We work together. When life gets tough, we figure it out together. And when life is happy, we celebrate together. That is what marriage is made for - being one team.
Our marriage is not perfect and I can't say we do all these things 100% of the time. We need a lot of prayer, a lot of mentoring, and a lot of love...but at the end of the day we have committed to fight for it - no matter what.
What do you think makes a strong marriage? How can we make it last? I'd love to hear what advice you have for us.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Pregnancy Cravings...Still?
It has been 4 months since I was pregnant! It seems like just yesterday Aubree was born, but it feels like I haven't been pregnant in a long time. So why am I still craving some of the things I did during pregnancy? During my first trimester I craved orange juice. I believe it also helped me not feel morning sickness (which was very helpful seeing as though I was still teaching 24 first graders). My second trimester it was lemonade. My third it was apple juice. Why I craved so much juice and a different one each trimester? I have no idea!
But throughout my entire pregnancy, I LOVED chocolate milk and root beer. Since I chose not to have caffeine while pregnant, root beer was my soda of choice. Chocolate milk, well, I had to have it almost every night before bed! Maybe it was my way of not eating a big bowl of ice cream or cookies before bed and thinking it was a nice low calorie treat. Or at least this is how I rationalized it! (Trust me - I still had many treats throughout pregnancy and didn't hold back. Hey, I was pregnant!) Just imagine having a nice cold glass of chocolate milk, made by my husband of course, while laying on the couch. Shortly after my last slurp (because I had to have a straw - I know weird), I would doze off into a pregnancy dream land...
Here I am 4 months later and I still want chocolate milk every night! I don't however, simply because I'm not pregnant anymore and really want to lose the last of the pregnancy weight...as for root beer? I can't handle ordering Rosati's without one.
What pregnancy cravings followed you into postpartum? I'd love to know I'm not the only one. :)
But throughout my entire pregnancy, I LOVED chocolate milk and root beer. Since I chose not to have caffeine while pregnant, root beer was my soda of choice. Chocolate milk, well, I had to have it almost every night before bed! Maybe it was my way of not eating a big bowl of ice cream or cookies before bed and thinking it was a nice low calorie treat. Or at least this is how I rationalized it! (Trust me - I still had many treats throughout pregnancy and didn't hold back. Hey, I was pregnant!) Just imagine having a nice cold glass of chocolate milk, made by my husband of course, while laying on the couch. Shortly after my last slurp (because I had to have a straw - I know weird), I would doze off into a pregnancy dream land...
Here I am 4 months later and I still want chocolate milk every night! I don't however, simply because I'm not pregnant anymore and really want to lose the last of the pregnancy weight...as for root beer? I can't handle ordering Rosati's without one.
What pregnancy cravings followed you into postpartum? I'd love to know I'm not the only one. :)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Confession
I have a confession to make...I have always struggled with my weight. I don't know if I really needed to growing up or if it was just society putting pressure on me to be super skinny instead of being comfortable in my own skin, but it's true. I have worried about how I look for far too long.
I have tried all kinds of yo-yo diets, exercise programs, and plain not eating. I could never do that last one though - I couldn't even make it past lunch with eating...clearly that way is not for me! Now that I have a daughter, I yearn for her to not have this struggle. There is soo much more to being confident that just the way you look, and that's what I am determined to teach her. I'm not exactly sure on how to do this, but here is where I will start:
1. Be confident in who I am! It's important for her to see that her mama is confident in order to be confident herself. A woman's body is amazing...not only can it grow a baby, but it knows how to birth a baby, and then provide food for a baby. I think this has changed the way I view myself. Having these experiences has taught me to be confident and amazed with my body.
2. Not focus on appearance. When I tell Aubree how beautiful she is, I want her to also know how smart she is, what her gifts are, and what makes her uniquely special. I plan on telling her these things as she grows and develops into a little person. For now I will just tell her how strong she is when she tries to sit up or roll over and how much I love the new sounds she makes!
3. Expose her to good role models. I want her to see her teachers using what's in their heart to help a child learn. I want her to see women at soup kitchens, pantries, and shelters using kindness to reach out to those in need. I want her to see women in church who use prayer and their spiritual gifts to touch those around them. I want her to see strong women in the workplace using their mind to achieve great things. I want her to see that no matter what profession she chooses, she can be awesome just like these women.
4. Give opportunities for her to develop her gifts. Whether it is choosing different camps to go to in the summer or by experiencing different things, I want her to be able to find what she enjoys and have the opportunity to develop her love for it.
5. Try not to put labels on her. It will be hard to avoid sentences with "you're so..." but it's important for her to figure out who she is instead of me telling her who she is.
6. Teach her to guard her heart. There will be a day when she comes home "in love" with a boy (I know Ollie and I are denial of this, even though we won't have much to say since we fell in love in high school). I want her to know how she is suppose to be treated by a boy and how a relationship works. I'm fortunate enough that she will see this in her daddy. He will be her first love. She will see how he treats her mommy and want to be treated like that too!
7. Have strong friendships. You can read more about how I feel about friendship and why it's so important here.
8. Teach her how to eat right and make exercise apart of daily life. I know that the most important piece of her learning strong self esteem is by seeing me have a strong self esteem. Therefore, I want to be healthy, not super thin or extremely buff, but healthy. I am her first teacher/mentor and if I don't show her, than she will become subject to our society's standards.
That's my list so far. How will you help your kids have a positive body image? Share them with me...I'd love to incorporate your ideas too!
Here is another great list that I found on Pinterest on raising kids to have a positive body image. I suggest reading it!
I have tried all kinds of yo-yo diets, exercise programs, and plain not eating. I could never do that last one though - I couldn't even make it past lunch with eating...clearly that way is not for me! Now that I have a daughter, I yearn for her to not have this struggle. There is soo much more to being confident that just the way you look, and that's what I am determined to teach her. I'm not exactly sure on how to do this, but here is where I will start:
1. Be confident in who I am! It's important for her to see that her mama is confident in order to be confident herself. A woman's body is amazing...not only can it grow a baby, but it knows how to birth a baby, and then provide food for a baby. I think this has changed the way I view myself. Having these experiences has taught me to be confident and amazed with my body.
2. Not focus on appearance. When I tell Aubree how beautiful she is, I want her to also know how smart she is, what her gifts are, and what makes her uniquely special. I plan on telling her these things as she grows and develops into a little person. For now I will just tell her how strong she is when she tries to sit up or roll over and how much I love the new sounds she makes!
3. Expose her to good role models. I want her to see her teachers using what's in their heart to help a child learn. I want her to see women at soup kitchens, pantries, and shelters using kindness to reach out to those in need. I want her to see women in church who use prayer and their spiritual gifts to touch those around them. I want her to see strong women in the workplace using their mind to achieve great things. I want her to see that no matter what profession she chooses, she can be awesome just like these women.
4. Give opportunities for her to develop her gifts. Whether it is choosing different camps to go to in the summer or by experiencing different things, I want her to be able to find what she enjoys and have the opportunity to develop her love for it.
5. Try not to put labels on her. It will be hard to avoid sentences with "you're so..." but it's important for her to figure out who she is instead of me telling her who she is.
6. Teach her to guard her heart. There will be a day when she comes home "in love" with a boy (I know Ollie and I are denial of this, even though we won't have much to say since we fell in love in high school). I want her to know how she is suppose to be treated by a boy and how a relationship works. I'm fortunate enough that she will see this in her daddy. He will be her first love. She will see how he treats her mommy and want to be treated like that too!
7. Have strong friendships. You can read more about how I feel about friendship and why it's so important here.
8. Teach her how to eat right and make exercise apart of daily life. I know that the most important piece of her learning strong self esteem is by seeing me have a strong self esteem. Therefore, I want to be healthy, not super thin or extremely buff, but healthy. I am her first teacher/mentor and if I don't show her, than she will become subject to our society's standards.
That's my list so far. How will you help your kids have a positive body image? Share them with me...I'd love to incorporate your ideas too!
Here is another great list that I found on Pinterest on raising kids to have a positive body image. I suggest reading it!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Things I Loved About Being Pregnant
As an offshoot of my friend Ashley's blog post about things she won't miss about being pregnant (which I agree with those things - sleeping was not fun at the end of pregnancy), and since I am on the flip side, I thought I would write about what I loved about being pregnant. I was pretty blessed to not have many complications or morning sickness. Therefore, I enjoyed pregnancy.
1. I loved worshiping at church! It was so amazing to me to feel her little kicks and flips as the band boasted, "How great is our God..." Because surely he is pretty great to give me this miracle.
2. I loved getting ultrasounds! Since Aubree had a slow heart rate like her daddy, I had to get them pretty often. I got pretty good at being able to read them too (before I was pregnant and someone would show me a picture, I would say, "And that is..." I couldn't see anything in those grainy pictures). I remember when we went for my 12 week appointment she was flipping so much it was hard for them to get pictures.
3. I loved rubbing my belly! It was my way of letting her know I was her mama and I found comfort in it too. After I left the hospital, I caught myself still rubbing my belly (not that I really wanted to draw attention to it anymore). It took some conscious effort to stop.
4. I loved buying maternity clothes! This was the only time in my life that I could go to the store, pick a pair of pants, not try them on, and get home and have them fit. That's the best part about maternity clothes. You buy them in your pre-pregnancy size and the band covers the rest!
5. I loved getting her room ready! It was one of those surreal feelings that a little one will be entering your world soon and you have to prepare. I made the majority of her bedding, curtains, and wall art mostly because I couldn't find much purple in stores...but I loved sitting at my sewing machine (sometimes for 20 hours to make the curtains - no joke) and envisioning what it would look like when she enjoyed them. I must say - she loves the mobile I made to hang over her crib and gets very excited to watch it move in circles. It makes all the hard work worth it when you can see the fruits of your labor (HA - pun intended).
6. I loved getting updates on my phone! Every Saturday I would get an update on the things that were developing that week...finger nails, hair, organs, etc. It was so exciting to me to think about her developing. It always made us dream about the type of person she would become too. It sparked a lot of conversations between Ollie and I of our hopes and dreams for her!
Granted there is nothing better than holding the baby you eagerly waited for after 40 weeks of pregnancy, but pregnancy itself is pretty awesome. Labor and delivery on the other hand will be another post coming soon!
What did you love or hate about being pregnant? Share your story!
1. I loved worshiping at church! It was so amazing to me to feel her little kicks and flips as the band boasted, "How great is our God..." Because surely he is pretty great to give me this miracle.
4. I loved buying maternity clothes! This was the only time in my life that I could go to the store, pick a pair of pants, not try them on, and get home and have them fit. That's the best part about maternity clothes. You buy them in your pre-pregnancy size and the band covers the rest!
5. I loved getting her room ready! It was one of those surreal feelings that a little one will be entering your world soon and you have to prepare. I made the majority of her bedding, curtains, and wall art mostly because I couldn't find much purple in stores...but I loved sitting at my sewing machine (sometimes for 20 hours to make the curtains - no joke) and envisioning what it would look like when she enjoyed them. I must say - she loves the mobile I made to hang over her crib and gets very excited to watch it move in circles. It makes all the hard work worth it when you can see the fruits of your labor (HA - pun intended).
Granted there is nothing better than holding the baby you eagerly waited for after 40 weeks of pregnancy, but pregnancy itself is pretty awesome. Labor and delivery on the other hand will be another post coming soon!
What did you love or hate about being pregnant? Share your story!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
BFFs
In every friendship there is a moment when you realize that you will be friends forever. That cheesy moment when you know that without a doubt no matter where life takes you, what roads you go down, you will have a friend rooting you on and waiting to hear from you. I am lucky enough to have some really great friends and I can pin point the moment that I knew we'd be friends forever. I am also pretty lucky that most of these moments happened in middle school, so I have had these friends for over 10 years!
They teach you a lot about life, and if you have the privelage of making friends at a young age, you have the opportunity to really live life together by seeing your lives mold into what they are suppose to be. We have graduated together, stood at each others weddings, been there through the loss of loved ones, celebrated as babies entered our world, and laughed A LOT! Now I know I just got all mushy gushy and a little over sentimental, but I think that having friends is so important in life.
We understand that sometimes you need to talk about something for 20 minutes before you will get over it, that you just want someone to stroll up and down every aisle at Target, and that sometimes you just need to have a glass of wine with an old friend.
This is my hope for these two girls. This is kind of a "prearranged friendship" because her mommy and me are best friends. Even if they don't end up going to high school together or standing in each others wedding, I hope that they find friendship just like I have in this world. While they were up visiting, and we were walking around with them in our slings, a lady said that she met her best friend of 65 years at their age....so who knows maybe this is the start of a long friendship!
These are my BFFs...I have known these four girls since I was very young and they all stood next to me in my wedding. I know that it doesn't matter how much time has past or how long it has been since we last talked, I can call them and pick up right where we left off. (This picture was from my going away party right before Ollie and I moved to Chicago). Love ya girls! :)
"A best friend doesn't care when you're broke, in a bad mood, what you weigh, if you don't see them in months, if your house is a mess, what you drive, about your past, or if your family is filled with crazy people. Your conversations pick up where they left off, even if they have been months or years apart. They love you for who you are." -Anonymous
Who is your BFF? Can you remember the moment you knew they would be your friend forever? Share your friendship story! I'd love to hear about it. :)
They teach you a lot about life, and if you have the privelage of making friends at a young age, you have the opportunity to really live life together by seeing your lives mold into what they are suppose to be. We have graduated together, stood at each others weddings, been there through the loss of loved ones, celebrated as babies entered our world, and laughed A LOT! Now I know I just got all mushy gushy and a little over sentimental, but I think that having friends is so important in life.
We understand that sometimes you need to talk about something for 20 minutes before you will get over it, that you just want someone to stroll up and down every aisle at Target, and that sometimes you just need to have a glass of wine with an old friend.
This is my hope for these two girls. This is kind of a "prearranged friendship" because her mommy and me are best friends. Even if they don't end up going to high school together or standing in each others wedding, I hope that they find friendship just like I have in this world. While they were up visiting, and we were walking around with them in our slings, a lady said that she met her best friend of 65 years at their age....so who knows maybe this is the start of a long friendship!
These are my BFFs...I have known these four girls since I was very young and they all stood next to me in my wedding. I know that it doesn't matter how much time has past or how long it has been since we last talked, I can call them and pick up right where we left off. (This picture was from my going away party right before Ollie and I moved to Chicago). Love ya girls! :)
Who is your BFF? Can you remember the moment you knew they would be your friend forever? Share your friendship story! I'd love to hear about it. :)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Heartbreak
Have you ever wanted something so bad that it was the first thing you thought about when you woke up, last thing before bed, and all throughout the day? A house was on my mind last week and I could not stop thinking about it (anyone that follows me on Pinterest probably saw the zillion things I pinned to decorate).
We went house hunting last week. We are buying a house for many reasons, but mostly because with the baby we have grown out of our townhouse and let's be honest - renting isn't cheap. A mortgage will actually be less than our rent!
We came across a beautiful home...a bank owned property, but in good shape. If you know anything about the market right now, most of the houses are short sales or bank owned and tend to be pretty beat up. Well, the bank had come in and painted, put new carpet in and fixed minor things. It was beautiful. I imagined my daughter playing in her room, our family eating dinner on the porch, and Ollie and I curled up next to the fireplace.
After we went for a second look, we decided that with a couple more questions answered we would make an offer. I'm the dive right in type, and my husband likes to feel things out and contemplate decisions, which is why we are perfect for each other because we balance one another out.
Unfortunately, it was too late. The bank had accepted one of the multiple offers on the house. I was devastated. Would I be able to find a home like this one again? Right now it's looking dim. Our MLS search doesn't have anything that compares to it. That house really was a steal and who ever is lucky enough to get it, is well...really lucky.
As for me, I have to have hope that God has something better in store for us. I know it's possible...even though it's hard to believe sometimes. I know that His plan for our life is better than we can imagine. He is at work behind the scenes always, because He loves his children and wants us to be happy. I NEED to believe this right now. I'll admit it though, it's hard to be optimistic when you wanted something soo bad. Maybe that's God's way of reminding me that He is in control - not me. He knows the town, the address, and even the minor details of our home. I can find comfort in knowing that He already has the perfect house picked out for us.
The funny thing is that when we do find that perfect home for our family, we will look back and see God's hand at work throughout the entire process. We will giggle and say, "That's why it happened this way!" And even if we don't fully understand it one day, we will know that it's in these times that God shapes us and helps us grow. He uses these heartbreaks to mold us into stronger, more confident people that He has called us to be.
Have you had a heartbreak over something you wanted really bad? How did God help you overcome it? How did He provide something better for you?
We went house hunting last week. We are buying a house for many reasons, but mostly because with the baby we have grown out of our townhouse and let's be honest - renting isn't cheap. A mortgage will actually be less than our rent!
We came across a beautiful home...a bank owned property, but in good shape. If you know anything about the market right now, most of the houses are short sales or bank owned and tend to be pretty beat up. Well, the bank had come in and painted, put new carpet in and fixed minor things. It was beautiful. I imagined my daughter playing in her room, our family eating dinner on the porch, and Ollie and I curled up next to the fireplace.
After we went for a second look, we decided that with a couple more questions answered we would make an offer. I'm the dive right in type, and my husband likes to feel things out and contemplate decisions, which is why we are perfect for each other because we balance one another out.
Unfortunately, it was too late. The bank had accepted one of the multiple offers on the house. I was devastated. Would I be able to find a home like this one again? Right now it's looking dim. Our MLS search doesn't have anything that compares to it. That house really was a steal and who ever is lucky enough to get it, is well...really lucky.
As for me, I have to have hope that God has something better in store for us. I know it's possible...even though it's hard to believe sometimes. I know that His plan for our life is better than we can imagine. He is at work behind the scenes always, because He loves his children and wants us to be happy. I NEED to believe this right now. I'll admit it though, it's hard to be optimistic when you wanted something soo bad. Maybe that's God's way of reminding me that He is in control - not me. He knows the town, the address, and even the minor details of our home. I can find comfort in knowing that He already has the perfect house picked out for us.
The funny thing is that when we do find that perfect home for our family, we will look back and see God's hand at work throughout the entire process. We will giggle and say, "That's why it happened this way!" And even if we don't fully understand it one day, we will know that it's in these times that God shapes us and helps us grow. He uses these heartbreaks to mold us into stronger, more confident people that He has called us to be.
Have you had a heartbreak over something you wanted really bad? How did God help you overcome it? How did He provide something better for you?
Friday, October 19, 2012
Mama Knows Best
I do. The two beautiful words that we say to our spouse on our wedding day. In that moment we know exactly what we want - to be married to the person standing before us forever and always. There have been other significant times when I knew exactly what I wanted - going to college, becoming a teacher, moving to Chicagoland, and having a baby.
So why is it that there are so many moments when we feel we just don't know? I feel that I am a pretty confident person and yet the first weeks (who am I kidding - months) of Aubree's life I googled everything. Just like during the time I was pregnant. When should she be...? Will this affect nursing? When should I get her on a schedule? What is this mark on her finger? Should I let her cry it out? Am I going to spoil her if I pick her up too much? Will she ever sleep through the night? I know you think I am kidding, but I'm not. The first week of breast feeding, I actually typed into google, "Will this get easier?" at 2 o'clock in the morning. (The first week of breast feeding is a whole other post).
After getting down on myself about all the things I wasn't as a mother, and stressing about all the information I was reading, my husband told me I was not allowed to google anything or read up on any topics for a week! (He knows me too well, and knew exactly why I was feeling down). I have to say it has been hard not to click on the links sent to me weekly in my email newsletters or google everything to see what information is out there. During this week, I have become less focused on getting Aubree on a schedule and focused more on just spending time with her and showing her the most important thing to her growth - love!
The old saying is true, "Mama knows best." Then why do we as moms often not feel this way? Mostly because society puts these expectations on us...expectations that our children don't have for us. They could care less if their costume is handmade this year or if the house is clean. They just want to be with you. I know this is true the way my daughter finds comfort in my arms or falls asleep on me to the sound of my heartbeat. Just those two things prove that instinctively mama knows best.
Don't get me wrong, I will probably forever google stuff. Having the internet at our finger tips is awesome and there is so much great stuff to read (especially my favorites - blogs and Pinterest). But it's important to separate the information we read from what we know about our child.
Have you had to take a timeout from google? I'd love to hear your story...it's encouraging to know I am not the only one! :)
So why is it that there are so many moments when we feel we just don't know? I feel that I am a pretty confident person and yet the first weeks (who am I kidding - months) of Aubree's life I googled everything. Just like during the time I was pregnant. When should she be...? Will this affect nursing? When should I get her on a schedule? What is this mark on her finger? Should I let her cry it out? Am I going to spoil her if I pick her up too much? Will she ever sleep through the night? I know you think I am kidding, but I'm not. The first week of breast feeding, I actually typed into google, "Will this get easier?" at 2 o'clock in the morning. (The first week of breast feeding is a whole other post).
After getting down on myself about all the things I wasn't as a mother, and stressing about all the information I was reading, my husband told me I was not allowed to google anything or read up on any topics for a week! (He knows me too well, and knew exactly why I was feeling down). I have to say it has been hard not to click on the links sent to me weekly in my email newsletters or google everything to see what information is out there. During this week, I have become less focused on getting Aubree on a schedule and focused more on just spending time with her and showing her the most important thing to her growth - love!
The old saying is true, "Mama knows best." Then why do we as moms often not feel this way? Mostly because society puts these expectations on us...expectations that our children don't have for us. They could care less if their costume is handmade this year or if the house is clean. They just want to be with you. I know this is true the way my daughter finds comfort in my arms or falls asleep on me to the sound of my heartbeat. Just those two things prove that instinctively mama knows best.
Don't get me wrong, I will probably forever google stuff. Having the internet at our finger tips is awesome and there is so much great stuff to read (especially my favorites - blogs and Pinterest). But it's important to separate the information we read from what we know about our child.
Have you had to take a timeout from google? I'd love to hear your story...it's encouraging to know I am not the only one! :)
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Check your pulse!
This past Sunday, our pastor, Bill Hybels said, "Check your pulse! Are you bursting with anticipation over what God is doing in your life?" I thought about this for a second as he has been preaching on becoming wiser through the book of Proverbs and came to the conclusion that I have been feeling this way lately.
Here I am - a new mom, unemployed, and living on just Ollie's salary and somehow we have managed to pay off debt, sell a car, and save for a down payment for a house. This past week we have begun the search with an actual realtor rather than drive bys that we have been doing for years. It is so exciting! The most exciting part? This would be absolutely impossible without God.
My pulse is racing and my blood is bursting with anticipation. Yes, I am thrilled to be able to decorate and arrange my home, but I am more excited about what the house represents and the memories it will hold. It will be where Aubree takes her first steps, where our kids will take refuge during a cold winter's day, where Ollie and I will hang the pictures from our wedding, where people will gather, where family will celebrate, and friends will be made.
There is an old saying, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." That is exactly what we plan on doing. I want my home to be a place that people gather, a place of prayer and fellowship. I pray God blesses us with a home, SO THAT we may use it for his purposes.
And of course, we want these girls to have a yard again! :)
Check your pulse! Are you bursting with anticipation over something in your life? I'd love to hear about it...leave me a comment! :)
Here I am - a new mom, unemployed, and living on just Ollie's salary and somehow we have managed to pay off debt, sell a car, and save for a down payment for a house. This past week we have begun the search with an actual realtor rather than drive bys that we have been doing for years. It is so exciting! The most exciting part? This would be absolutely impossible without God.
My pulse is racing and my blood is bursting with anticipation. Yes, I am thrilled to be able to decorate and arrange my home, but I am more excited about what the house represents and the memories it will hold. It will be where Aubree takes her first steps, where our kids will take refuge during a cold winter's day, where Ollie and I will hang the pictures from our wedding, where people will gather, where family will celebrate, and friends will be made.
There is an old saying, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." That is exactly what we plan on doing. I want my home to be a place that people gather, a place of prayer and fellowship. I pray God blesses us with a home, SO THAT we may use it for his purposes.
Check your pulse! Are you bursting with anticipation over something in your life? I'd love to hear about it...leave me a comment! :)
Monday, October 15, 2012
My Little Miracle
Aubree is my little miracle. There is a moment in each of my days that I look at her and melt at the fact that God gave me this little miracle...he entrusted one of HIS children to ME.
I don't know why there are some woman who can't have children, but for a moment I was one of them. It doesn't make sense to me and it is unfair...especially when many of those woman would make wonderful moms. I can't empathize with them completely because my story had a good ending, but for a couple of months I wrestled with whether I would be able to have children. Early in 2010, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). As I sat in the doctors office holding Ollie's hand, and the doctor began to talk options, symptoms, and tests, my mind drifted to all the dreams I had of having a big family. I heard her say "infertility specialist" and I was gone...my mind was racing to all the things I thought I wouldn't experience: pregnancy, birth, buying baby clothes and cribs, waiting for Santa, and so much more. Thank goodness Ollie was there to hear the rest, because I sure didn't hear anything past those two words. Basically my body wasn't having a cycle, if I wasn't on a cycle, that meant no ovulating, and no ovulating meant I couldn't get pregnant on my own.
Now as you know, I got pregnant, had a great pregnancy, and a healthy, beautiful baby girl. We never made it the infertility specialist. I was able to get pregnant on the treatments that my OB/GYN prescribed me. Again, I was blessed....it only took one cycle of Clomid, a lot of ultrasounds, and a shot of more hormones to get pregnant (you can only do this 5 times before you have to do IVF). When I took that pregnancy test, I couldn't look at it...I didn't think I would have been able to handle a negative result. When Ollie looked and said, "We are going to have a baby!" I was instantly in tears. I don't know why God chose me to overcome this obstacle, but to me it's a miracle and a blessing that I don't ever want to take for granted.
I don't know if I will have trouble getting pregnant again or if my body will readjust after pregnancy, but I do know one thing...Aubree was given to me - not because I deserved it, or because I was good enough, but by the grace of God. So each morning when I go to get her out of her crib, and she smiles at me I realize how blessed I am to be this little girl's mama.
If you have dealt with this in your life, or are dealing with it right now, I want you to be encouraged by my story. When life isn't what we dreamt of as little girls, it can be really disappointing. But motherhood is not defined by the way we become mothers. Whether it is through adoption, pregnancy, or a surrogate, we become mothers the moment a baby (big or small) is placed in our arms and a whole new journey begins. Our hearts fill up with a love that we never knew existed and the way that we viewed the world suddenly changes. So don't give up hope and know that in one way or another, God will bless you with the joy of motherhood - even if it's in a different way than we imagine.
I don't know why there are some woman who can't have children, but for a moment I was one of them. It doesn't make sense to me and it is unfair...especially when many of those woman would make wonderful moms. I can't empathize with them completely because my story had a good ending, but for a couple of months I wrestled with whether I would be able to have children. Early in 2010, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). As I sat in the doctors office holding Ollie's hand, and the doctor began to talk options, symptoms, and tests, my mind drifted to all the dreams I had of having a big family. I heard her say "infertility specialist" and I was gone...my mind was racing to all the things I thought I wouldn't experience: pregnancy, birth, buying baby clothes and cribs, waiting for Santa, and so much more. Thank goodness Ollie was there to hear the rest, because I sure didn't hear anything past those two words. Basically my body wasn't having a cycle, if I wasn't on a cycle, that meant no ovulating, and no ovulating meant I couldn't get pregnant on my own.
Now as you know, I got pregnant, had a great pregnancy, and a healthy, beautiful baby girl. We never made it the infertility specialist. I was able to get pregnant on the treatments that my OB/GYN prescribed me. Again, I was blessed....it only took one cycle of Clomid, a lot of ultrasounds, and a shot of more hormones to get pregnant (you can only do this 5 times before you have to do IVF). When I took that pregnancy test, I couldn't look at it...I didn't think I would have been able to handle a negative result. When Ollie looked and said, "We are going to have a baby!" I was instantly in tears. I don't know why God chose me to overcome this obstacle, but to me it's a miracle and a blessing that I don't ever want to take for granted.
I don't know if I will have trouble getting pregnant again or if my body will readjust after pregnancy, but I do know one thing...Aubree was given to me - not because I deserved it, or because I was good enough, but by the grace of God. So each morning when I go to get her out of her crib, and she smiles at me I realize how blessed I am to be this little girl's mama.
If you have dealt with this in your life, or are dealing with it right now, I want you to be encouraged by my story. When life isn't what we dreamt of as little girls, it can be really disappointing. But motherhood is not defined by the way we become mothers. Whether it is through adoption, pregnancy, or a surrogate, we become mothers the moment a baby (big or small) is placed in our arms and a whole new journey begins. Our hearts fill up with a love that we never knew existed and the way that we viewed the world suddenly changes. So don't give up hope and know that in one way or another, God will bless you with the joy of motherhood - even if it's in a different way than we imagine.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Tornado vs. Hurricane
I grew up in Florida and so I am very used to hurricanes. They became something that was fun to us. Get tons of supplies (mostly batteries, junk food, and water jugs), gather at one house, and play board games with family as you watch the projected storm take its course or veer far off leaving us with lots of rain and nothing more. BUT it was a great time to spend with family among this technology filled world as we had our Hurricane Party without the TV, computers and phones.
Now it's not to say we didn't have some pretty bad ones. My senior year of high school we missed 14 days of school due to hurricanes. You may have remembered hearing about hurricane Charlie? Yup, that came right through our town. Now we weren't hit as bad as the town right about us but it was still devastating. I remember driving through town and seeing telephone poles laying across huge intersections, roofs completely caved in, and huge oak trees pulled from the ground and their roots staring at the sky. It was very surreal and many people even spray painted on the wood boards that covered their windows "Sorry Charlie" in victory that they had survived.
Here I am 8 years later...sitting in the bathroom with Aubree, two dogs and yelling at my husband to get in here rather than look out the window; freaking out that the tornado siren is going off in our area. When my husband joins us and I'm on the verge of tears, he asks, "why are you so scared?"
I think about this for a second and two things come to mind. One is that I am not used to it. I didn't grow up in the Midwest where these loud sirens echo through your house to warn you of a possible tornado, so it's simple...it's unfamiliar, it's foreign and it freaks me out. Let's face it - sitting in a bathroom in a second story townhome isn't the safest place to be.
Secondly, when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I was at a friends house who lived down the street playing in her living room when I saw the palm trees bending over (if you've ever seen palm trees, you know they don't do this often) and her mom told us to run to her closet and duck. As her entire family came in there and stuffed pillows on our heads and grabbed board games from above to stash below, I couldn't help worry about my own family. Where my parents hanging out on the porch thinking this was cool, or were they taking it serious (my dad and brother tend to be adventurous when it comes to this type of stuff). Finally, we left the closet and the phone rang - my mom was heading down the street to get me. I ran out of the house and as I was jumping over trees laying across my street, I had one goal in sight - to get to my mom. This tornado had only gone down our street. It had started in the canal whipped through our street and disappeared back into the sky.
So as an adult, I think subconsciously this may have something to do with my fear of tornados. If I were to choose I would say I would pick a hurricane over a tornado any day and it probably is only because I have sweeter memories during hurricanes than tornados.
So which one freaks you out - hurricane or tornado?
Now it's not to say we didn't have some pretty bad ones. My senior year of high school we missed 14 days of school due to hurricanes. You may have remembered hearing about hurricane Charlie? Yup, that came right through our town. Now we weren't hit as bad as the town right about us but it was still devastating. I remember driving through town and seeing telephone poles laying across huge intersections, roofs completely caved in, and huge oak trees pulled from the ground and their roots staring at the sky. It was very surreal and many people even spray painted on the wood boards that covered their windows "Sorry Charlie" in victory that they had survived.
Here I am 8 years later...sitting in the bathroom with Aubree, two dogs and yelling at my husband to get in here rather than look out the window; freaking out that the tornado siren is going off in our area. When my husband joins us and I'm on the verge of tears, he asks, "why are you so scared?"
I think about this for a second and two things come to mind. One is that I am not used to it. I didn't grow up in the Midwest where these loud sirens echo through your house to warn you of a possible tornado, so it's simple...it's unfamiliar, it's foreign and it freaks me out. Let's face it - sitting in a bathroom in a second story townhome isn't the safest place to be.
Secondly, when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I was at a friends house who lived down the street playing in her living room when I saw the palm trees bending over (if you've ever seen palm trees, you know they don't do this often) and her mom told us to run to her closet and duck. As her entire family came in there and stuffed pillows on our heads and grabbed board games from above to stash below, I couldn't help worry about my own family. Where my parents hanging out on the porch thinking this was cool, or were they taking it serious (my dad and brother tend to be adventurous when it comes to this type of stuff). Finally, we left the closet and the phone rang - my mom was heading down the street to get me. I ran out of the house and as I was jumping over trees laying across my street, I had one goal in sight - to get to my mom. This tornado had only gone down our street. It had started in the canal whipped through our street and disappeared back into the sky.
So as an adult, I think subconsciously this may have something to do with my fear of tornados. If I were to choose I would say I would pick a hurricane over a tornado any day and it probably is only because I have sweeter memories during hurricanes than tornados.
So which one freaks you out - hurricane or tornado?
Saturday, October 13, 2012
I'm officially a BLOGGER!
After much thought, and some encouragement from my friend Ashley I have decided to make a blog. Do I think anyone will read it? Maybe not, but she said she would, so that's all that matters. She's moving away and it will help us keep in touch. When she graduated college, all of her friends made a blog to keep up with each others lives. What a great idea! I need to encourage my friends from back home to do the same.
My biggest debate when beginning a blog was, "What will I write about?" Then all these ideas began to come to my mind throughout the day, while I was driving, hanging out with my daughter or laying in bed trying to sleep. My next thought was, "Does anyone really care what I have to think about random things like pictures, babies, and cookies?"
It occurred to me that I read blogs constantly...whenever I am researching a topic my first spot is the Baby Center Blogs. I don't know those people and they just give their opinions, but it helps me to know that I am not the only one facing a certain issue or questioning a certain problem. And if my endless words and thoughts bring comfort to one person than that makes it all worth it. And if you don't want to hear my consistent chatter, well than don't. That's the great thing about blogs, they don't show up on Facebook in your news feed as an overshare.
Pinterest is my absolute favorite website (even before Facebook), and it often takes you to people blogs. This is how I created my daughters room...from the bed skirt to the mobile! Blogs are awesome, they are informative, they are creative, and fun. My only hope that mine can be all these things too. Maybe even some of my creative ideas will make their way onto Pinterest!
My biggest debate when beginning a blog was, "What will I write about?" Then all these ideas began to come to my mind throughout the day, while I was driving, hanging out with my daughter or laying in bed trying to sleep. My next thought was, "Does anyone really care what I have to think about random things like pictures, babies, and cookies?"
It occurred to me that I read blogs constantly...whenever I am researching a topic my first spot is the Baby Center Blogs. I don't know those people and they just give their opinions, but it helps me to know that I am not the only one facing a certain issue or questioning a certain problem. And if my endless words and thoughts bring comfort to one person than that makes it all worth it. And if you don't want to hear my consistent chatter, well than don't. That's the great thing about blogs, they don't show up on Facebook in your news feed as an overshare.
Pinterest is my absolute favorite website (even before Facebook), and it often takes you to people blogs. This is how I created my daughters room...from the bed skirt to the mobile! Blogs are awesome, they are informative, they are creative, and fun. My only hope that mine can be all these things too. Maybe even some of my creative ideas will make their way onto Pinterest!
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